Secret loves

Confession: I love really bad rhymes. By which I mean so bad (or so forced) that they’re good. Possibly my all-time favourite is this from the song “I’ll never fall in love again”:

What do you get when you kiss a guy?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia
After you do, he’ll never phone ya
I’ll never fall in love again

Fantastic stretching of the English language!

And then there’s this from the Proclaimers (masters of everyday-sounding language and conversational songs):

And though you tell it like a leg-pull
I think you’re still full of john bull

(It makes more sense when you know the ‘you’ in question is an Englishman being addressed by a Scot.)

This one always makes me smile, even though the song (El Paso) is supposed to be terribly sad. In fact, there are two pretty good-bad rhymes in there:

Out through the back door of Rosa’s I ran,
Out where the horses were tied.
I caught a good one.
It looked like it could run.
Up on its back
And away I did ride

So there you have it. ‘Real’ poetry can sometimes leave me cold but I’m a sucker for a terrible rhyme. It shows someone was having fun with the language.

What are your favourite bad ryhmes?

What secret loves do you have in writing that you’re not ‘supposed’ to appreciate? Puns? Bad grammar?